I remember hearing (and playing) the Joe Walsh song during the summer of 1978. The chorus started out with "Seems to me you don't want to talk about it; seems to me you just turn... and walk away." My memory doesn't tell me what "it" was, but there's an awful lot that most of us don't want to talk about, at least with the people we need to talk to. Unfortunately, we tend to talk about it with other people instead. Here's what I mean:
[Disclaimer: This is a completely hypothetical situation, not intended to directly represent any person(s) in particular.]
Joe: I have no idea how Roxanne got that job anyway. Everyone knows she can't lead her way out of a wet paper bag.
Edwina: What do you mean, Joe?
Joe: Well, in order for someone to be a leader, other people would have to follow them, and no one follows Roxanne! Besides, it takes a certain amount of intelligence to lead a group such as ours, and she clearly has none. After all, have you ever even heard her defend herself against these charges of incompetence? She hasn't done so because she doesn't know how!
Edwina: On the other hand, maybe Roxanne hasn't defended herself because she hopes people will be able to see that the charges are unfounded, and she doesn't want to attack those who attacked her.
Joe: Oh, I see you're on her side! Well, it's nice to finally know where I actually stand with you.
Edwina: Have you discussed your concerns with Roxanne?
Joe: Of course not! It would be a waste of time.
In this hypothetical scenario, Joe strongly criticizes Roxanne to Edwina, but has not spoken with Roxanne about his concerns. Instead of seeking to work with Roxanne to help her improve her leadership skills, he is trying to build a coalition against Roxanne. Perhaps he wants what's best, but he's not willing to talk with Roxanne. Perhaps Joe is afraid she will argue him down; perhaps he's threatened by her success or worried that he will be exposed as a back-biter. Perhaps he thinks his own position is not secure, and he believes if he can discredit Roxanne, then his own position will be more secure. Regardless, he's unlikely to accomplish much in the way of supporting his organization by this type of conversation. He would stand a much better chance of reforming the organization by earning Roxanne's trust and then helping her in her areas of weakness. In other words, instead of trying to recruit Edwina to his team, fighting against Roxanne and her team, Joe could say to Roxanne, "I can tell you need help; how can I help you accomplish your goals for this quarter?" After working with Roxanne for a while, Joe might find himself in the position of trusted advisor to Roxanne. Joe's leadership could turn into leadership by influence instead of leadership by criticism. It could all start with Joe talking with Roxanne instead of about her. What will he do?
If it were you, what would you do?
More to come.
©2008 J. Michael Bryan. All rights reserved.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Where's the Beef?
I suppose I'm dating myself (pretty desperate, don't you think?), but I actually remember where that quote comes from. If you remember too, and choose to email me about it, I'll give you a gift certificate to the establishment that gave birth to the quote, provided you're among the first five correct answers. Of course, that has nothing to do with the topic of this post.
Last week, I took some prepared food to the Panama City Rescue Mission. When I got out of my car, a man asked me to give him some meat before taking it inside the mission. "Why?", I asked.
"Because we'll never see any of that meat."
"What do you mean, you'll never see any of that meat?"
"By the time we homeless guys go through the line, the meat will be gone."
He told me that the people in the drug treatment and other programs at the Rescue Mission go through the food line first, and eat up all the meat. I told him I couldn't break into the pans, but he helped me take them inside anyway. I trust he got to eat some of it, since it was unexpected food. I have much respect for those who run the Rescue Mission, and I'm very glad the man didn't tell me the employees of the mission eat all the meat (Someone recently told me that about a mission in a different city).
I don't know whether his claim was true, but I do know it's quite plausible. For most non-vegetarians, meat is the most expensive part of our diets. The same is probably true at the Mission. Whether the food is donated or the mission buys it, chances are that the meat costs more than the rest. Because we're such a carnivorous society, we tend to think of our meals as being a "main course" which is virtually always a meat dish, and other "side dishes." It's likely that whoever goes through the line would make sure they get a main course, even if they don't eat the veggies and other sides. So toward the end of the line, it's very plausible to me that the meat supply would run low. If the "homeless off the streets" are in the back of the line, they might not get any meat. In case you're a local, please understand this: I HAVE NOT INVESTIGATED THE CLAIM THAT THE MISSION RUNS OUT OF MEAT. While it could be true, experience tells me it's at least as likely NOT to be true.
I may not be able to reliably verify the claim, but the morning after this experience, I made a commitment to be a vegetarian until my birthday (Christmas Eve). Any money I save by NOT eating meat I will either (1) give to someone for the purpose of purchasing meat for "people off the street"; or (2) use to buy ready-to-eat non-perishable meat products for the hungry people who come my way. Perhaps you'd like to join me. If so, I invite you to either give money directly to your local rescue mission or Salvation Army outpost for that purpose, or simply buy non-perishable ready-to-eat meat products that do not require a can opener, and either take them to an agency such as a local church (Hungry people come to most local churches every day seeking help) or keep them yourself. When you see someone with a "Hungry - need food" or "will work for food" sign, give them some food on the spot.
Another idea: This one came from an experience at a McDonalds in downtown Panama City. On my way in, I struck up a conversation with a man outside the restaurant. After we had talked a few minutes, he told me he was hungry and asked if I would buy him a meal. I bought two meals, than sat down with him and shared food and conversation for the next 20 minutes. I don't know which one of us gave more, but both of us received gifts from and with each other that day.
Another time, I had met my dad in a parking lot. We were talking when a young man walked up and asked if we would give him at least enough money to get food for his traveling companion, whom I took to be his wife. Instead of giving money (I had none with me), I reached in my car and pulled out the brown bag lunch my mother had sent.
I have missed many opportunities, but I'm missing fewer than I used to. The reason is that I've become convinced that God created us to help each other, and nowhere is God's presence more obvious to me than when one reaches out for help and another reaches out to help. Therefore, I try to help everyone I can. In this as in many situations, I try to do what I can, and not worry about what I can't do.
If you decide to give "meat money" to the hungry this season, please email me. I'd love to keep up with how many meals and/or dollars are given away because of this simple challenge. Until next time, keep on giving!
©2007 J. Michael Bryan. All rights reserved.
Last week, I took some prepared food to the Panama City Rescue Mission. When I got out of my car, a man asked me to give him some meat before taking it inside the mission. "Why?", I asked.
"Because we'll never see any of that meat."
"What do you mean, you'll never see any of that meat?"
"By the time we homeless guys go through the line, the meat will be gone."
He told me that the people in the drug treatment and other programs at the Rescue Mission go through the food line first, and eat up all the meat. I told him I couldn't break into the pans, but he helped me take them inside anyway. I trust he got to eat some of it, since it was unexpected food. I have much respect for those who run the Rescue Mission, and I'm very glad the man didn't tell me the employees of the mission eat all the meat (Someone recently told me that about a mission in a different city).
I don't know whether his claim was true, but I do know it's quite plausible. For most non-vegetarians, meat is the most expensive part of our diets. The same is probably true at the Mission. Whether the food is donated or the mission buys it, chances are that the meat costs more than the rest. Because we're such a carnivorous society, we tend to think of our meals as being a "main course" which is virtually always a meat dish, and other "side dishes." It's likely that whoever goes through the line would make sure they get a main course, even if they don't eat the veggies and other sides. So toward the end of the line, it's very plausible to me that the meat supply would run low. If the "homeless off the streets" are in the back of the line, they might not get any meat. In case you're a local, please understand this: I HAVE NOT INVESTIGATED THE CLAIM THAT THE MISSION RUNS OUT OF MEAT. While it could be true, experience tells me it's at least as likely NOT to be true.
I may not be able to reliably verify the claim, but the morning after this experience, I made a commitment to be a vegetarian until my birthday (Christmas Eve). Any money I save by NOT eating meat I will either (1) give to someone for the purpose of purchasing meat for "people off the street"; or (2) use to buy ready-to-eat non-perishable meat products for the hungry people who come my way. Perhaps you'd like to join me. If so, I invite you to either give money directly to your local rescue mission or Salvation Army outpost for that purpose, or simply buy non-perishable ready-to-eat meat products that do not require a can opener, and either take them to an agency such as a local church (Hungry people come to most local churches every day seeking help) or keep them yourself. When you see someone with a "Hungry - need food" or "will work for food" sign, give them some food on the spot.
Another idea: This one came from an experience at a McDonalds in downtown Panama City. On my way in, I struck up a conversation with a man outside the restaurant. After we had talked a few minutes, he told me he was hungry and asked if I would buy him a meal. I bought two meals, than sat down with him and shared food and conversation for the next 20 minutes. I don't know which one of us gave more, but both of us received gifts from and with each other that day.
Another time, I had met my dad in a parking lot. We were talking when a young man walked up and asked if we would give him at least enough money to get food for his traveling companion, whom I took to be his wife. Instead of giving money (I had none with me), I reached in my car and pulled out the brown bag lunch my mother had sent.
I have missed many opportunities, but I'm missing fewer than I used to. The reason is that I've become convinced that God created us to help each other, and nowhere is God's presence more obvious to me than when one reaches out for help and another reaches out to help. Therefore, I try to help everyone I can. In this as in many situations, I try to do what I can, and not worry about what I can't do.
If you decide to give "meat money" to the hungry this season, please email me. I'd love to keep up with how many meals and/or dollars are given away because of this simple challenge. Until next time, keep on giving!
©2007 J. Michael Bryan. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Let's Discuss It over Coffee
If I could, I'd invite you to join me for coffee; I talk more and make more sense when I'm drinking coffee, so I wish I could share my coffee with you. Since I can't, I'll drink the coffee and let my keyboard do the talking. What will we talk about in this virtual coffee shop? Virtually anything. Does anyone have any ideas? Oh, yeah, you can't really talk to me, so I guess I'll have to choose the first topic.
Okay, let's start with "community". What does it mean? Should we define "community" geographically, sociologically, philosophically, theologically, psychologically, economically, or spiritually? What (or who) creates it? What destroys it? What's its function? What's the difference between "group" and "community"? Is true community really common, or is it something most of us never experience?
I have possible answers to some of these questions, but for now I'll let the questions remain, and let some of you offer your ideas. I look forward to learning from you and sharing with you some of what I'm learning, as we "Discuss It over Coffee."
Michael
©2007 J. Michael Bryan. All rights reserved.
Okay, let's start with "community". What does it mean? Should we define "community" geographically, sociologically, philosophically, theologically, psychologically, economically, or spiritually? What (or who) creates it? What destroys it? What's its function? What's the difference between "group" and "community"? Is true community really common, or is it something most of us never experience?
I have possible answers to some of these questions, but for now I'll let the questions remain, and let some of you offer your ideas. I look forward to learning from you and sharing with you some of what I'm learning, as we "Discuss It over Coffee."
Michael
©2007 J. Michael Bryan. All rights reserved.
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